A hassle every week

I have been getting my kids 50/50 for the past year and a half and there has yet to be a week where I'm not given a hard time about picking them up from their Mother.  It's always something.  She has the girls text me that they don't want to come over and that when they are able, they will go to live with her all of the time.  She is teaching them the same behavior that she has and that is one of being a bully and a manipulator. 

She told them that the parenting plan we signed was only temporary and was a trial to see if they would like it.  I found out about this from the girls and informed them that the plan wasnt temporary and that both their mother and myself signed it.  In the plan it calls that we both share custody equally with me paying child support as if they were only coming over every other weekend.  I did this to ensure that their homelife at their mother's was not upset too bad.  This was a mistake as she has done nothing but harrass me reagrding the time that I spend with them. 

She has scheduled them for several activities apiece for after school and while she doesnt take them to these events, her mother does.  However, I dont have that luxury.  It's me and Heather and even if I had that kind of help I dont think I would have them doing that many things.  I enjoy the time with my girls and I don't consider taking them to everything is spending quality time.  

I take them to everything I can because that's what I agreed to in the PP.  To see my girls 50/50 I had to do a lot.  The texts started this past weekend with Olivia and Sophia both texting me and leaving me messages that they didnt want to come over because they wanted to study with Papa Bob (their grandfather) and Sophia wanted to work on a project at home.  As a Father, studying with my kids is MY job.  Helping out with projects is also MY job.  I told Susan in an email, no.  Of course as a bully and manipulator, being told no is unacceptable.  So she replies that the girls dont want to to come to my house and that she will be at the school to pick them up.  Always looking for a fight, she continues to email me the same basic email over and over.  Not picking up what she puts down, I ignore her and set out to get the kids this afternoon.  I show up at the school and ask for Sophia.  The teacher tells me that her grandmother has just picked her up.  I nod my head and drive off to the Police station where I filed a report for parental interference. 

I'm just wondering how much more of this I can take before I snap.  I love my kids more than anything in the world and I hate that I married a monster, but having Sophia and Olivia is worth it.  I'll head out to the school again tomorrow and see if I can get them without  a hassle, but I doubt it.  

It has become incessant

It's been about a month since I last wrote in this blog and there has been much going on. 

Susan and the girls have been texting me and emailing me incessantly about wanting to spend the first week of school at home with their mother.  I know it's her and not the girls but they are now taking care of her as she is a co-dependent poster child. I finally relented and let them after getting three emails a day from her and a text every hour it seeemed from Sophia. 

 I believe I have lost my daughters to her.  As they grow older, I'm afraid they will be filled with guilt and anguish over the way they treated me and there is nothing I can do about it.  I will maintain a presence in their lives as much as I can. 

I went to pick them up last night under the mistaken impressiont that I was supposed to get them on Mondays during the summer.  I asked them if they were ready to go and both of them looked at me and said no.  It broke my heart like you wouldn't believe. 

Susan still insists that I owe five hundred and some odd dollars to the school for tuition from last year.  I have insisted that I dont and now she has gotten an attorney to try to prove me wrong.  The parenting plan says that we will equally divide the cost of tuition and she is isisting that she and she only be given the thousand dollar hardship scholarship and the five hundred dollar discount for having two kids enrolled.  This leaves her paying 375 a month and me paying 485 a month.  Hardly equal I must say. 

I havent mentioned that when I supposed to get the girls back after her month of having them that I didnt get them because they were still coming back from Florida.  When I did get them, we drove by their Mom's house on the way to Olivia's piano lesson and the kids informed that Mr. Robert had spent the night in the house.  What my kids thinks passes for normal must be mind boggling.  She is still married to the guy that beat her in front of the kids and didn't have divorce papers served on him for a month before she had this guy coming around.  Did I mention that he went on vacation with them?  During my dating scene pot divorce my kids were around three women that I dated and I married one of the three. 

Oh!  She has signed Olivia up for soccer, basketball, piano, choir, Girl Scouts, and now she is in a musical performance.  She is also going to do dance. 

Sophia is going be doing dance, volleyball, and Girl Scouts.  They also attend school, when they have time.  It's a private school so they have homework every night.  I cannot figure out for the life of me what makes her want to do this to these children. 

Unfriended by my own daughter on Facebook

I was up and at em this morning bright and early and while checking my facebook page I happen to notice that my 11 year old daughter had unfriended me on Facebook.  I know this isnt her doing, but is something that her crazy borderline mother would do.  I fear I have lost my daughter to the incessant brainwashing that she undergoes when she is with her mother.  In the past she has posted once on my page about when I was going to pay her tuition for her private school. That is the only post she has ever posted.    This troubles me imensely.  She isnt allowed to check her FB when she is at my house under the threat of having it taken away by her mother.  When I ask her about it she says that she just doesnt want to check it and changes the subject. 

This crazy person insists that I pay more than half of the kids tuition even though the parenting plan calls for the cost of tution to be divided equally. 

I was supposed to get my kids this weekend but Sophia had camp and Olivia wanted to spend the night with her cousin.  Nothing can be simple with this woman.  I offered to get and get Sophia and even suggested that I pick up Olivia after her sleepover but Susan insisted that she go and get Sophia at camp, saying that Sophia had been very homesick and that the camp had called her a couple of times during the week. 

This is what is on my mind most of the time. 

The first of many

I am writing this blog to help me cope with the craziness that is my ex wife Susan and how after almost 10 years of divorce she still uses my kids against me.  I will be posting emails, texts, and various stories about what she has done and what she continues to do.  She has been diagnosed as  borderline personality with separation anxiety.  I have two daughters and two step daughters.  I am remarried to a wonderful girl who depsite all that goes on with Susan still loves me and supports me iin what I try to do.  I love my kids with all of my heart.  They mean everything to me. 

I fought for 50/50 custody of my kids and recieved that last August.  In order to get this I still pay 1100 a month for child support, half of their private school and I pay for their medical benefits.  Susan also signs them up for dance, volleyball, choir, Girl Scouts, and softball.  I have to take them to all of these activites and still get their homework done and dinner made.  I think it is too much for them to do but I don't have a say in it.  The things I do to see my kids more. 

Here is an email that she sent me today after I told her that I would go and get Sophia on Saturday at summer camp.  (Our PP calls for me to get the kids for the month of June and she gets them for July, with each of us getting a weekend during the month for PT). 

Here is my initial email:

Susan,

This is the weekend out the month that I am to get the kids. I know Sophia is at camp and I will go down and get her on Saturday morning. I will make sure that she brings home all of her clothes and anything else that she took down there. I will be by to get Olivia on Friday evening at 6pm.

 

Frank

Pretty cut and dry which is the way I like it.  I don't want to deal with her anymore than I have to.  Well, she can't just comply with something simple like a parenting plan.  She has to muddy the water and create chaos. 

 

Frank-

Both of the girls told me you would not have them in July.

I will see you at camp at 9:30 Saturday morning.

Camp has already called me today and Sophia is very home sick and was discussing with everyone how she had to stay with you in June. She is looking forward to coming home Saturday morning.

I will see you Saturday at camp.

 

 

At this point I should just let it go and head to the police station on Friday and file the police report.  I figure I'll give her one more chance to see what else she will say:

Susan,

I will be by to get Olivia at 6pm on Friday. The Saturday will be on my time, so I think it only fair that I go and get Sophia. You took her down and I can pick her up. That’s what co=parents do

 

 

Here is her reply:

 

Frank-

I appreciate you telling a example of coparents - but you have not coparented since August 1st NOR followed one thing in the parenting plan.

However, coparenting is the comfort of both parents being present and in unison for the children.

I will see you at camp Saturday morning. Sophia is expecting me to be there, and after talking to her camp counselor today she wants mommy to be there for the awards ceremony and I will not let her down.

 

I'll let it go at this point.